"This is too hard for me, I feel like such a joke you know know how I feel about you but we can't do this". Those were his words right before he left.
Three Months Ago;
The beginning... I remember the day it had all started,it ws the day I had gone for a drink with a group of friends, I remember seeing him and thinking "damn I'd like to have me a piece of that Spanish hunk" only for him to come up to me and chat me up . He was unbelievably complete smart, responsible, fit and of course handsome as fuck. We got comfortable with each other so fast it seemed like we had known each other in a former life. We went on dates, we had our first kiss and everything was going wonderful until the 3rd week of our relationship, I remember it like it was just yesterday;
Being with you feels so right he said
I smiled and then he asked me "what do you think intimacy is about?" ,
I'm not sure, sharing everything with each other I guess
I want you to be my woman
What are you talking about Julio I AM your woman
Not completely he said
what do you mean
I wanna make love to you
SILENCE , shit I've been dreading this moment
I braced myself for the task ahead and I said to him
Umm Julio there's something I've been meaning to tell you this but I wanted to wait till the time was right
Go ahead he said and I dropped the bomb I'M A VIRGIN
I know baby
You do, why didn't you say anything
I don't wanna rush you hun I'll wait till you're ready
* pheew* relieved at the thought of not having to make a decision I knew he would ask again but I didn't want to bother myself "plausible deniability" I decided
After that incident I let him get to third base to keep his mind away from wanting "it" but our rounds of passion-filled acrobatic cuninlingus and fellatio only left him with a bad case of blue balls every single time while I was always high up in cloud "19".
Seeing as the equation wasn't equal we decided to take a break from each other. But that was easier said than done we just couldn't stay away from each other and each time he left with blue balls so I decided to let him go and keep everything casual while we kept in touch through phone calls. That sort of worked well for a month or so until that drafty spring morning at about 1am we had been talking for about an hour .
I miss you Dami can I come over
I knew this would lead to nothing but trouble but I said yes all the same because I missed him more than I wanted to admit. Twenty mins later he was outside my apartment seeing him just made me melt inside , I walked up to him and hugged him. Hugging him had filled an emptiness inside me, an emptiness I didn't know existed.
Immediately we got to my room he lifted me and eased me unto the bed. He brushed his mouth over my lips "put your arms around me baby", I did as he asked as we kissed passionately. I moaned softly as he raised my top. Panic mixed with excitement I pulled my top down. Before I could stop him he had peeled my top off leaving only my shorts, he grasped my hands and placed them over my head.
"I wanna make love to you" he whispered. His hands moved to my breasts, handling them gently, tracing light, feathery circles until my nipples hardened into tiny bells. He touched each tip and waves of heat shot through me as his head dipped. He drew my nipple to his mouth sculpting it with his mouth and then drawing on it as if he were taking nourishment. Excitement spread through my body like a betrayal, burning hotter and fiercer as he began stroking the insides of my thighs. His fingers moved beneath the bands of my shorts and panties and then slid inside with a practiced touch .
"You're so tight", he whispered, withdrawing from me . He pulled my shorts and underpants down over my hips, separated my legs, and began doing something to me with his mouth that was so thrilling, I couldn't believe it was happening. At first I fought against it but my resistance was no match for his cunninlingus skills. He took control of my body , and I surrendered to him. I cried out as he brought me to an orgasm so exquisite I felt as if I were shattering into a thousand pieces .
After it was over he came up to kiss me, but I turned away. I couldn't deal with the guilt,I knew I was'nt going to let him make love to me so I pushed him away. His face grew pale as he stalked from the room but not before he said those two sentences that pierced my heart. I had lost him to my selfishness. I knew he was gone, GONE FOREVER.
